It’s been a while, and I’ve had a lot of things I wanted to update everyone on. Sorry. I’ve been meaning to write several blog posts, but the time keeps flying by.
First, In a previous blog post I was discouraged about my progress, and my inability to prioritize kung fu. The comments on that post were definitely insightful and I appreciated the feedback. Kung Fu doesn’t need to be a onerous obligation that consumes my life and has to be prioritized over everything. Ideally, I think it is part of a sustainable lifestyle that helps to stretch the body and soul, while pushing me to be better and to not become complacent. With work it can become part of a daily routine and flow that will help to provide balance and support.
On that note, I was really struggling with being overwhelmed throughout most of April and I was honestly ready to quit Kung Fu. To walk away frustrated and defeated. I was reminded however that I had made a commitment to the team, and while I have the freedom to leave at any time, it would be disappointing to let the team and myself down by leaving. At the time I was even more frustrated by this, but I did see the value and reason behind staying, even when things were tough. I resolved not to make a decision to leave while I was in the midst of such frustration and instead to wait on making such a decision until I was able to do so with a clear mind and free from the pressures that were crushing me.
I was overwhelmed though, and I was shutting down. I was beginning to fail myself and the team here at kung fu. I felt that even my work and social life were being impacted and I was withdrawing from everything I possibly could. Previously, while I was finishing up my degree, I had hit a similiar point of burn out, and I went to the Doctor looking for any help possible. What I got was a lecture about needing to fix my sleep and food habits. I felt belittled and I was crushed. This time however when I had reached this point of burnout I was able to get in touch with people who could help. On May 5th, I was diagnosed with ADHD Combined and Hyperactive Compulsive disorders. This was huge for me and it has provided the opportunity to get connected with supports and resources that were previously unavailable.
One of the things I found most interesting, is that dealing with ADHD can be a 3-pronged approach. First, personal health is important. Making sure to get enough sleep, eating healthy and staying active is fundamental for setting yourself up for success. Second, it becomes important to develop skills for managing ADHD symptoms. Reminders, planning and organizing fall into this category, but I believe that working towards the goals that we have in kung fu of regular practice and sustainable lifestyles are highly relevant to the process of developing skills for managing ADHD as well. Finally, it is sometimes helpful to have tools such as medication that can also help with managing an ADHD diagnosis. All of these are tools that are intended to improve quality of life and to help with living a life that is sustainable and rewarding.
I was hitting a point of being overwhelmed and burnt out, and I couldn’t do it on my own anymore. I still feel like life is crazy busy, but I am no longer burnt out and shutting down. I am getting lots done, and staying engaged. Yes, I’m still prone to distraction, and it’s easy for things to slip into the background while I am focused on other things. I kept meaning to write blog posts with updates, but it was never a critical emergency that needed immediate attention and so it kept slipping. I am still working on developing better time management and prioritization skills, but it is such a relief to be able to function and not be paralyzed anymore.
My numbers are below, and while they are not anything fantastic, I am still making progress and I am trying to move forward. I can’t focus on everything and some items are really slipping behind, but I have been happy with the progress I am making on my language practice and on the distances I have been walking.
| Current | Goal | Change Since Last | |
| Pushups | 6269 | 17514 | 480 |
| Situps | 5964 | 17514 | 480 |
| Hand Forms | 93 | 350 | 19 |
| Weapon Forms | 111 | 350 | 4 |
| Acts of Kindness | 0 | 350 | – |
| Distance Travelled | 540.6 | 564 | 195.8 |
| Sparring | 235 | 350 | 90 |
| Blog Posts | 8 | 18 | 1 |
| Tai Chi Time | 470 | 1751 | 0 |
| Language Practice Time | 1016 | 1751 | 155 |
I Ho Chuan Blog Post
I am currently training with Silent River Kung fu as a member of the Dragon team of the I Ho Chuan. https://www.silentriverkungfu.ca/
When’s the last time you did 6269 pushups? Yeah, didn’t think so. Remind yourself of where you were and where you are and it’ll be easier to find the time.