Life has been crazy this year. I have been operating at the limit of my capacity and I would say beyond my limits. At this point, I am only making it through my day-to-day because I have the power of prescription medications and a lot of caffeine to keep me going. I have not been active in the I Ho Chuan team, and my forms are virtually non-existent. My work on the requirements have been placed on the back burner for the past couple of months and I have not been able to make meaningful progress. It has been all I can do to make it to the Adult level 1 classes; and even then I have often only been able to attend digitally. I am tired. I am stressed, and I am overwhelmed.
Last week, I started to write a blog post about feeling like I could breath again. I had finished several large tasks and commitments and it felt like a huge weight had come off of my shoulders. I thought that finally I would have time, capacity and focus to start moving forward again. However, before I could finish that blog post or make it to the I Ho Chuan class that evening, life threw another curveball. I’m back to being overwhelmed and needing to face some very large challenges that are likely to take a lot of time and work to deal with. I have once again hit a point where I am shutting down.
I am not super human. I have limits, and I am at those limits. I cannot continue at the pace I have been attempting or dreaming or hoping to achieve. At this point, I believe I need to shift my focus back the core of health that everything else builds upon. I’ve learned that core is built upon proper sleep, good nutrition and regular activity; both mental and physical. So much of what has me overwhelmed and stressed, is not truly necessary. I need to deal with these issues, and I need to deal with my stress, anxiety and obligations to find a life that is sustainable. What I have been doing, and what I have been attempting to do is not sustainable. The question I face now is what is extraneous, what is an unnecessary burden that I am carrying. How can I build habits and make decisions that are sustainable?